My child went to bed early tonight, so I’m sitting on the balcony sofa, sipping the leftover beer from yesterday’s dinner with colleagues, listening to the neighbors chatting in a language I don’t understand. It’s given me pause for thought.
Recently, people have been asking me: “How did you go abroad? What’s the process? Will your child study there?”
I’ve also learned that some friends are struggling with whether to live abroad, ultimately choosing to stay in China.
I just signed a second-year lease with my landlord. Thinking about it, I’ve been living abroad alone for a year now, and I’ve accumulated some experience.
If I had to summarize my feelings in one sentence, it would be:
Whether or not to go abroad is a very personal decision; there’s no right or wrong.
But for working professionals—hone a core skill, learn English well, maintain good health, and pursue long-term, valuable work.
Perhaps due to the increasingly severe employment situation in recent years, more and more people are considering a question:
Am I Suited to Living Abroad?#
Some people do it for their children’s education; others want to escape involution and pursue a higher quality of life.
But between aspiration and reality, there are often obstacles like language, culture, education systems, efficiency, and lifestyle differences.
As a programmer working in Europe, I’m often asked these questions:
- “Is Europe suitable for raising children?”
- “Can I survive without speaking English?”
- “What about my child’s schooling? Is English enough?”
- “Can I save money on my salary?”
Today, I want to share my observations from the perspective of both a “programmer” and a “father”:
Who Thrives in Europe, and Who Might Struggle?#
People Suited to Europe#
1. Adequate English Skills for Daily Communication#
In Europe, especially in the tech field, English is the most common working language. You don’t need to be as fluent as a native speaker, but you should at least be able to understand emails, keep up in meetings, and communicate with colleagues.
2. Willingness to Learn the Local Language and Culture#
Europe isn’t like the UK, US, or Canada—purely English-speaking countries. Each country has its own official language. Mastering the local language will save you a lot of trouble when shopping, seeing a doctor, renting a house, and handling official business, and it will also help you integrate into society faster.
Of course, some people don’t want to learn another language, which might lead to more inconveniences in daily life.
3. Acceptance of a “Slower Pace + Higher Quality” of Life#
Many European countries promote “work-life balance”:
- Punctual下班 (leaving work on time), no weekend overtime
- Vacation time is readily available; no one questions “what about the project?”
- Online shopping is slow, appointments are necessary for many things, but a slower pace doesn’t mean inefficiency—you just get used to it.
If you’re chasing “a million-dollar annual income” or are passionate about “996 to launch projects,” you might find it unsuitable; but if you want a stable life, time with your family, and the energy to focus on personal growth, then Europe might be right for you.
4. Families with Preschool-Aged Children#
Children have a very strong ability to adapt to languages, especially between the ages of 0-5. Coming to Europe at this stage, language acquisition is almost “automatic,” the quality of education is good, and there are government subsidies.
For families, this is a “soft landing” golden period.
5. Those Seeking Long-Term Development and Quality of Life#
In China, programmers often face career anxiety after the age of 35; but in Europe, 35 is still a golden age in the workplace, with job hopping, salary increases, and stable growth being common.
If you are focused on long-term development, job stability, quality of life, education, and healthcare— Europe is indeed a worthwhile option.
And for those who want to obtain an EU Green Card or long-term residency, Europe’s immigration policies are generally more favorable than those in the United States.
People Who Might Not Adapt Well#
1. Poor English Skills and Unwillingness to Learn the Local Language#
You might think, “I just write code,” but in reality:
Visas, banks, hospitals, driver’s licenses, children’s schooling, daily life… language is needed everywhere.
Google Translate can help in a pinch, but relying on it for years can easily lead to anxiety and frustration.
2. Impatient People Used to High Levels of Service#
If you’re used to the domestic pace of “request today, launch tomorrow,” then the efficiency of European administration might drive you crazy.
Many things here require appointments, waiting, and queuing, and many services simply don’t exist—like affordable takeout, massage, haircuts, or body scrubs. Either they are very expensive or they simply don’t exist.
3. People Very Sensitive to Weather#
The weather in many European countries isn’t exactly friendly to the Chinese:
- Long, cold, dark winters can easily lead to seasonal affective disorder
- Short summers, but very long days; sometimes it’s not dark until 10 pm
- Lots of rain, high humidity, clothes don’t dry easily
If you absolutely need sunshine and distinct seasons, this could be a pain point.
4. Children Already in Middle or High School#
At this stage, children’s language learning ability decreases, but academic pressure increases.
In non-English-speaking countries (such as Germany, France, Lithuania, etc.), the courses are in the local language, and the exams are also localized, putting a lot of pressure on the children, and the parents also feel anxious.
5. Primary Goal Is “Making Money”#
If your goal is “accumulating initial capital” or “making quick money,” then:
- Taxes are high in Europe
- The cost of living is also not low
- Programmer salaries are decent, but far lower than in the United States, and often lower than in large Chinese companies
Especially if you’re married, consider carefully the cost and benefits of coming to Europe alone for a few years.
The Child’s Age Is Crucial to Family Decisions:#
| Age Range | Adaptability | Recommendation |
|---|---|---|
| 0–5 years old | Highest | Fast language learning, low educational pressure, recommended |
| 6–11 years old | Moderate | Slightly higher language learning difficulty, extra tutoring needed |
| 12+ years old | Difficult | High academic pressure, heavy language burden, careful consideration needed |
| 18+ years old | Easy | University or postgraduate studies are a good choice; many educational resources, low fees |
Quick Assessment of Suitability#
| Characteristic | Suitable for Europe | Unsuitable for Europe |
|---|---|---|
| English Ability | Daily communication possible | Poor English, unwilling to learn |
| Personality | Peaceful, willing to adapt to a slower pace | Impatient, used to high efficiency and service |
| Weather Tolerance | Can accept long winters and less sunshine | Extremely reliant on sunshine, afraid of the cold |
| Family Stage | Young children (0–5 years old) | Children already in middle or high school |
| Career Goals | Seeking stable development and quality of life | Primary goal is making money or rapid capital accumulation |
| Cultural Attitude | Willing to integrate, willing to learn the language | Resistant to local culture, wants to stay in the “Chinese community” |
In Conclusion#
There’s no standard answer to “should I go abroad?” Everyone’s background, aspirations, and resources are different.
Personally, I value the living environment, educational resources, healthcare system, and work-life balance. The biggest drawback is being far from home; I can only return to China once a year, and even a month feels too short.
Language is a source of inconvenience in life, but I’m gradually adapting and learning.
If in the future I can achieve the freedom of “remote work + returning to China for a few months,” that would be ideal for me.
Life abroad is a significant decision, especially for families with children. Embarking on a new life is not easy.
Hopefully, this article will help you more clearly determine whether you are suited to Europe. If you are considering relocation, feel free to leave a comment or share this with your friends!
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